Much like a leaf caught in a raging river whose only choice it is to follow the current, so it is true for children who grow up in poverty. They get swept along in their parent’s current and often wind up at the same destination. I’ve realized in my time here that I may not be able to rescue that child from the river but I can try to create an off-shoot with calmer waters that over time will hopefully arrive at a different destination…one that is filled with opportunity and hope.
Trying to find ways to provide help and encouragement is as challenging as finding a needle in a haystack. How do you help without harming? How do you provide assistance without creating dependence? I’ve really struggled to answer these questions and I’m not sure that I’ve succeeded. I do believe, however, that to do nothing is unacceptable.
In Abi’s case, I first attempted to work with Souwnet. I found her work that would allow her to more consistently feed and shelter Abi. She wasn’t interested. I connected her with individuals who were willing to provide a job opportunity and pay for her to attend school in the evenings. She wasn’t interested. I was willing to help her set up a small business (i.e. raising chickens). She wasn’t interested. It became clear to me, that even if Souwnet is not happy with her current situation she is not interested or willing to work to change that. I cannot help those who do not want to be helped.
Abi on the other hand, at the young age of 4, is a sponge for change. Prior to my arrival, hygiene was not a priority for either Souwnet or Abi. I introduced him to soap and showers and he latched on to the idea wholeheartedly, so much so, that he ASKS to be bathed and have clean clothes. As preposterous as it seemed, I realized that Abi was motivated to change and learn and could possibly be the one to break the cycle of poverty and despondency in his family.
But, how to help and not harm? How can I make an impact when I can no longer be present? How can I use my limited resources most effectively? Education. It is the tool that is within my reach to provide. It is tangible, directly benefits Abi, but also indirectly benefits his mother. But, how can I make that happen from such a young age as 4 and knowing that I soon will be far from this place?
It’s amazing what will happen when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope and are powerless to do anything. Trusting is so hard and yet time and time again I have been rewarded. I had been so focused on seeking an open door that I failed to see the countless windows that were opening.
Within the course of a few short weeks…
• I learned that the private school in town has an all-day kindergarten program for students as young as 4
• Unbeknown to me at the time, the owner of the school is on the hospital board of directors and greeted me by name when I first visited the school
• My friend, Hannah, is a teacher at the school
• The school fee is reasonable and 100% of their students pass the national entrance exam for 9th grade
• There was a spot for Abi!
With Souwnet’s permission we registered Abi for KG1. With the help of friends and family, Abi was outfitted with gently used clothes and shoes, new school supplies, and a shiny new lunch pail. All seemed to be going as planned, but like the roads in Ethiopia, the path is never smooth, direct, or free from roadblocks.
Several weeks before school started, Souwnet’s mother passed away. Souwnet journeyed to the rural area for the funeral and after a week or so, returned to DebreMarkos. When I went to see her to confirm the final school details a week before the start of school I learned that she needed to return to her mother’s home for an extended period of time. She would be leaving two days prior to Abi’s very first day of school. When I questioned her about arrangements for Abi, she merely shrugged her shoulders and indicated that Abi would have to travel with her. She could see no other alternative. Frankly, I was distraught. To have such an opportunity within reach and then to have it snatched away was heartbreaking. I know that Souwnet felt torn, however, she lives a life where planning for the future gets overshadowed by the immediacy of today.
Fortunately, I have been blessed to operate under a different framework. Anything IS possible. I spoke with my friend Hannah (the teacher) and without hesitation she volunteered to take Abi into her home for the duration of Souwnet’s journey. Unbelievable! Souwnet was overjoyed, Abi was excited, and I was RELIEVED. Over the course of the weekend, I helped to introduce Abi to Hannah’s family and Souwnet washed his little bag of clothes and helped move him in.
On Tuesday, Abi successfully completed his first full day of school. For me, this was as monumental of an occasion as a graduation. I would be naïve, however, to think that the hurdles have been overcome. When she returns, will Souwnet make it a priority to get him to school? Who can I find that I can trust to pay the school fee each year? Who will help him with his studies? Who will ensure that he has a decent lunch?
Much like the fable of the lone man tossing stranded starfish back into the sea, I will continue to toss Abi back into the ocean of opportunity for as long as I am capable. I can only hope that when I leave that I will have built a network of local people around him that will continue to do the same. It truly does take a village!
Trying to find ways to provide help and encouragement is as challenging as finding a needle in a haystack. How do you help without harming? How do you provide assistance without creating dependence? I’ve really struggled to answer these questions and I’m not sure that I’ve succeeded. I do believe, however, that to do nothing is unacceptable.
In Abi’s case, I first attempted to work with Souwnet. I found her work that would allow her to more consistently feed and shelter Abi. She wasn’t interested. I connected her with individuals who were willing to provide a job opportunity and pay for her to attend school in the evenings. She wasn’t interested. I was willing to help her set up a small business (i.e. raising chickens). She wasn’t interested. It became clear to me, that even if Souwnet is not happy with her current situation she is not interested or willing to work to change that. I cannot help those who do not want to be helped.
Abi on the other hand, at the young age of 4, is a sponge for change. Prior to my arrival, hygiene was not a priority for either Souwnet or Abi. I introduced him to soap and showers and he latched on to the idea wholeheartedly, so much so, that he ASKS to be bathed and have clean clothes. As preposterous as it seemed, I realized that Abi was motivated to change and learn and could possibly be the one to break the cycle of poverty and despondency in his family.
But, how to help and not harm? How can I make an impact when I can no longer be present? How can I use my limited resources most effectively? Education. It is the tool that is within my reach to provide. It is tangible, directly benefits Abi, but also indirectly benefits his mother. But, how can I make that happen from such a young age as 4 and knowing that I soon will be far from this place?
It’s amazing what will happen when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope and are powerless to do anything. Trusting is so hard and yet time and time again I have been rewarded. I had been so focused on seeking an open door that I failed to see the countless windows that were opening.
Within the course of a few short weeks…
• I learned that the private school in town has an all-day kindergarten program for students as young as 4
• Unbeknown to me at the time, the owner of the school is on the hospital board of directors and greeted me by name when I first visited the school
• My friend, Hannah, is a teacher at the school
• The school fee is reasonable and 100% of their students pass the national entrance exam for 9th grade
• There was a spot for Abi!
With Souwnet’s permission we registered Abi for KG1. With the help of friends and family, Abi was outfitted with gently used clothes and shoes, new school supplies, and a shiny new lunch pail. All seemed to be going as planned, but like the roads in Ethiopia, the path is never smooth, direct, or free from roadblocks.
Several weeks before school started, Souwnet’s mother passed away. Souwnet journeyed to the rural area for the funeral and after a week or so, returned to DebreMarkos. When I went to see her to confirm the final school details a week before the start of school I learned that she needed to return to her mother’s home for an extended period of time. She would be leaving two days prior to Abi’s very first day of school. When I questioned her about arrangements for Abi, she merely shrugged her shoulders and indicated that Abi would have to travel with her. She could see no other alternative. Frankly, I was distraught. To have such an opportunity within reach and then to have it snatched away was heartbreaking. I know that Souwnet felt torn, however, she lives a life where planning for the future gets overshadowed by the immediacy of today.
Fortunately, I have been blessed to operate under a different framework. Anything IS possible. I spoke with my friend Hannah (the teacher) and without hesitation she volunteered to take Abi into her home for the duration of Souwnet’s journey. Unbelievable! Souwnet was overjoyed, Abi was excited, and I was RELIEVED. Over the course of the weekend, I helped to introduce Abi to Hannah’s family and Souwnet washed his little bag of clothes and helped move him in.
On Tuesday, Abi successfully completed his first full day of school. For me, this was as monumental of an occasion as a graduation. I would be naïve, however, to think that the hurdles have been overcome. When she returns, will Souwnet make it a priority to get him to school? Who can I find that I can trust to pay the school fee each year? Who will help him with his studies? Who will ensure that he has a decent lunch?
Much like the fable of the lone man tossing stranded starfish back into the sea, I will continue to toss Abi back into the ocean of opportunity for as long as I am capable. I can only hope that when I leave that I will have built a network of local people around him that will continue to do the same. It truly does take a village!
Me and my favorite 4 year old.
An empty classroom that soon will be overflowing with eager, rambunctious, and I’m sure a bit nervous 4 year olds.
Each morning is begun with the entire student body (KG1-8th grade) lining up in the courtyard.
Abi was less than engaged with the first day of school ceremony. You could just here him thinking “lets get this show on the road!”
Bored already! I know he was thinking, “is it time for lunch yet?” I sat his lunch box next to him (so he would realize it was his) and realized my mistake when I turned around to find him having a snack…already….he hadn’t been seated 2 minutes!
I’m sure he's thinking “this is gonna be one LOOONNG day!”
I don’t know what I’d do without my friend Hannah. She has really gone above and beyond to help both Abi and Souwnet.
