Abi Goes to School

Much like a leaf caught in a raging river whose only choice it is to follow the current, so it is true for children who grow up in poverty. They get swept along in their parent’s current and often wind up at the same destination. I’ve realized in my time here that I may not be able to rescue that child from the river but I can try to create an off-shoot with calmer waters that over time will hopefully arrive at a different destination…one that is filled with opportunity and hope.

Trying to find ways to provide help and encouragement is as challenging as finding a needle in a haystack. How do you help without harming? How do you provide assistance without creating dependence? I’ve really struggled to answer these questions and I’m not sure that I’ve succeeded. I do believe, however, that to do nothing is unacceptable.

In Abi’s case, I first attempted to work with Souwnet. I found her work that would allow her to more consistently feed and shelter Abi. She wasn’t interested. I connected her with individuals who were willing to provide a job opportunity and pay for her to attend school in the evenings. She wasn’t interested. I was willing to help her set up a small business (i.e. raising chickens). She wasn’t interested. It became clear to me, that even if Souwnet is not happy with her current situation she is not interested or willing to work to change that. I cannot help those who do not want to be helped.

Abi on the other hand, at the young age of 4, is a sponge for change. Prior to my arrival, hygiene was not a priority for either Souwnet or Abi. I introduced him to soap and showers and he latched on to the idea wholeheartedly, so much so, that he ASKS to be bathed and have clean clothes. As preposterous as it seemed, I realized that Abi was motivated to change and learn and could possibly be the one to break the cycle of poverty and despondency in his family.

But, how to help and not harm? How can I make an impact when I can no longer be present? How can I use my limited resources most effectively? Education. It is the tool that is within my reach to provide. It is tangible, directly benefits Abi, but also indirectly benefits his mother. But, how can I make that happen from such a young age as 4 and knowing that I soon will be far from this place?

It’s amazing what will happen when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope and are powerless to do anything. Trusting is so hard and yet time and time again I have been rewarded. I had been so focused on seeking an open door that I failed to see the countless windows that were opening.

Within the course of a few short weeks…

• I learned that the private school in town has an all-day kindergarten program for students as young as 4

• Unbeknown to me at the time, the owner of the school is on the hospital board of directors and greeted me by name when I first visited the school

• My friend, Hannah, is a teacher at the school

• The school fee is reasonable and 100% of their students pass the national entrance exam for 9th grade

• There was a spot for Abi!

With Souwnet’s permission we registered Abi for KG1. With the help of friends and family, Abi was outfitted with gently used clothes and shoes, new school supplies, and a shiny new lunch pail. All seemed to be going as planned, but like the roads in Ethiopia, the path is never smooth, direct, or free from roadblocks.

Several weeks before school started, Souwnet’s mother passed away. Souwnet journeyed to the rural area for the funeral and after a week or so, returned to DebreMarkos. When I went to see her to confirm the final school details a week before the start of school I learned that she needed to return to her mother’s home for an extended period of time. She would be leaving two days prior to Abi’s very first day of school. When I questioned her about arrangements for Abi, she merely shrugged her shoulders and indicated that Abi would have to travel with her. She could see no other alternative. Frankly, I was distraught. To have such an opportunity within reach and then to have it snatched away was heartbreaking. I know that Souwnet felt torn, however, she lives a life where planning for the future gets overshadowed by the immediacy of today.

Fortunately, I have been blessed to operate under a different framework. Anything IS possible. I spoke with my friend Hannah (the teacher) and without hesitation she volunteered to take Abi into her home for the duration of Souwnet’s journey. Unbelievable! Souwnet was overjoyed, Abi was excited, and I was RELIEVED. Over the course of the weekend, I helped to introduce Abi to Hannah’s family and Souwnet washed his little bag of clothes and helped move him in.

On Tuesday, Abi successfully completed his first full day of school. For me, this was as monumental of an occasion as a graduation. I would be naïve, however, to think that the hurdles have been overcome. When she returns, will Souwnet make it a priority to get him to school? Who can I find that I can trust to pay the school fee each year? Who will help him with his studies? Who will ensure that he has a decent lunch?

Much like the fable of the lone man tossing stranded starfish back into the sea, I will continue to toss Abi back into the ocean of opportunity for as long as I am capable. I can only hope that when I leave that I will have built a network of local people around him that will continue to do the same. It truly does take a village!

Me and my favorite 4 year old.

An empty classroom that soon will be overflowing with eager, rambunctious, and I’m sure a bit nervous 4 year olds.

Each morning is begun with the entire student body (KG1-8th grade) lining up in the courtyard.

Abi was less than engaged with the first day of school ceremony. You could just here him thinking “lets get this show on the road!”

Bored already! I know he was thinking, “is it time for lunch yet?” I sat his lunch box next to him (so he would realize it was his) and realized my mistake when I turned around to find him having a snack…already….he hadn’t been seated 2 minutes!

I’m sure he's thinking “this is gonna be one LOOONNG day!”

I don’t know what I’d do without my friend Hannah. She has really gone above and beyond to help both Abi and Souwnet.

Abi’s 4th Birthday

I have to admit that I thought I was as excited about Abi’s 4th birthday party as I anticipated he would be. I, however, grossly underestimated the enthusiasm that a 4 year old can generate!! As he came careening through my doorway on the day of his party, he was beside himself. I don’t think he had a clue what to do with all of his energy and joy.

For his 3rd birthday, I was pretty cautious. I didn’t want to do anything that would make Souwnet (his mother) feel displaced or discouraged by what she could or couldn’t provide. Since then, I’ve learned that Souwnet is happy for me to do whatever. With that knowledge I set out to make this birthday a memorable one…not over the top, just special.

I invited my friend Hannah and her little girl Tsion as well as Genet and Ava. Souwnet prepared the bunna and brought bread while I took care of the party hats, party favors, cake, candles, presents, and soda. We sang happy birthday, blew out candles and then I introduced the concept of party favors. I decided that having small gifts to give away would potentially thwart any meltdowns on the behalf of Abi’s little guests. What I didn’t take into account was Abi’s lack of understanding of the party favor. It was so cute to watch him pass out these little wrapped gifts to his friends with a look on his face that could only be interpreted as “what about me?” Truly priceless!

In an effort to respect cultural norms, Abi wielding a large knife, cut his own cake and then dove into his gifts. This year he didn’t have to be told that the gift was not the pretty paper!

Despite a broken glass, two minor meltdowns, one “didn’t make it to the shinta beyt in time” accident, and an unexpected afternoon rain the party was a raging success. The kids went home well sugared-up and the adults exhausted. Perhaps it’s a good thing that birthdays only come around once per year!

This is the picture that I captured on his second careening pass through the house. His excitement was contagious!

The revelers…pre-rain.

Abi wasn’t quite sure he wanted to give away his party favors.

Abi cuts, or rather stabs, his birthday cake.

Just a few trinkets and toys to ring in the special day. The biggest hit—his own set of keys. Lately he has taken to setting up my porch chairs, one in front of the other, and “driving” us on various adventures. He, however, prefers to drive from the backseat. Me too!

The birthday boy and me.

Abi and his mom, Souwnet.

Roadside Entrepreneurs

I’m sure that when the main asphalt road between Addis Ababa and Bahar Dar was constructed it was met with mixed reviews on the part of the rural peoples—part blessing and part curse.

While traveling home from Bahar Dar recently I came across a horrendous site—a crumpled truck and 6 dead cows. All of the men in the village had turned out. While the young men were rapidly butchering to salvage what meat they could, the elders were holding an impromptu court of arbitration to determine the driver’s penalty and the farmer’s compensation. An accident such as this one is devastating for both parties.

There are those, however, who have recognized and capitalized on the benefits of the asphalt conduit…namely busload after busload of potential customers. Each little town along the route specializes in something. Roadside in Dembecha one can find cowhide stools, Finote Selam sugar cane, south of Injebara horse tail fly swatters (otherwise knows as the Chera), North of Injebara charcoal, and between Emanel and DebreMarkos the local spirit (Arake) sold in repurposed Whitehorse liquor bottles. The season also influences the roadside market. At this time of year, kids stand roadside waving bags full of lemons (the entire bag of 12-15 lemons for 1 birr which is less than 10cents) and roasted field corn. It’s a veritable Wal-Mart, just one that is stretched out over the course of a couple hundred kilometers.

Initially, I didn’t get in on the buying frenzy. Instead I would get frustrated as to the delays that would result when the bus or mini-bus would pull over for yet another passenger to purchase something. I realized, however, that the best way to curb my frustration was to join in the fun. Now, whether I’m in a big bus or a private vehicle, I happily shop my way home and in turn support small business at a true grassroots level.

I’m not a big fan of chawing down on raw sugar cane, but Tambarat (Gigi’s husband) is. He can’t get enough of the red sugar cane that grows near Finote Selam and I’m more than happy to pick him up a bundle whenever I’m passing through. I have to laugh, though, because I now shop like an Ethiopian. When this group of boys raced to the car, I inspected what they had in hand, turned up my nose, and then told them I wanted a fresh piece cut “tulu, tulu” (quickly, quickly). I have most definitely adapted!

Happy New Year 2002

Happy New Year 2002…again! For those of you that find yourself wanting a “do-over” or claim a “mulligan” after a wayward shot, perhaps you should consider relocating to Ethiopia for a time. Where else in the world do you get the chance to do-over an entire year?!

This year’s festivities were a little more low-key than the previous year. To the dismay of all Orthodox Ethiopians, New Years fell on a fasting day. For me and the sheep, that meant a day of reprieve. But, on New Years Day +1, the festivities commenced. I could have made the round of households with Gigi and family, but to be honest, I just couldn’t face the multiple sheep slaughterings and the platefuls that follow. Instead, I spent the day on the compound with my landlord and his family. It was a delightful day…and especially so as Aselef has learned what I can and can’t eat (perhaps will and won’t eat is more apropos). She kindly prepares me my own plate of well-cooked meat free of sheep parts, sheep fat, and sheep bone. Now that is truly a reason to celebrate!

Ava rounds up our New Years’ Feast. This is a girl after my own heart—a true farm kid.

Genet, Ava, and Hannah

It’s a rare opportunity that I am able to catch Getachew and Aselef in the same shot. The sheep slaughtering is celebrated by nibbling on injera served with a spicy berbery paste.

Just to prove that I was indeed a part of the festivities

It is customary that the men of the family perform the slaughtering. Getachew’s son, Addisu (in the foreground), takes the lead this New Year.

Ava the Layba

Ava is such a charmer. With her sweet smile, infectious giggle, and precocious personality she finds a way to brighten my everyday. Honestly, it doesn’t take much. Her outstretched arms the second she catches a glimpse of me, and the meltdown that ensues when I return her are enough to melt my heart.
At the wise old age of 15 months, it is not uncommon for her to sneak away from her house at the back of the compound (unbeknownst to her mother), enter my home through the door that I perpetually leave cracked open, and help herself to my endless supply of "treasures": shiny DVDs, keys, loose change, and her favorite—my cell phone. It is because of her kleptomaniac tendencies that she has earned the nickname "Ava the Layba" (layba is Amharic for thief). She has even developed her own signature. Everything that catches her eye and is soon within her grimy grasp is given a nice big fat kiss—the smacking sort of kind.

How could you not smile to see this little burglar trying to sneak in?

I love this perfectly timed shot! And, if you’re wondering, a big smacking kiss was bestowed upon the mirror.

I love a good meltdown and ironically I seem to be the root cause of most of Ava’s meltdowns. Lucky for me, I can just return her!

Mr. Cool and His Shades

I know that Abi has built quite the fan club among my readers. He is such a character. I’m totally enamored with him, and I know that you are too. He never fails to make me laugh out loud.

It’s a rare day when I visit him that I’m not wearing my sunglasses. Within seconds of my arrival he’s requesting to wear them. He thinks they’re so cool! He’ll parade around exclaiming at how strong the sun is. Then when he steps indoors, he’ll push them to the top of his head and exclaim “like Kristi.”

When Megan left, she left behind an old pair of sunglasses. There was no person that I knew would appreciate or enjoy them more than Abi. How right I was!

Happy Birthday to Me

Time flies when you’re having fun. I don’t necessary want to claim another year, but since I have little choice in the matter, I shall enjoy my “special day.” Gigi baked me a cake (one of the skills that I’ve passed on), and she even had me light and blow out my candles…an American tradition that she has wholeheartedly adopted. The photo shoot you see below is all her idea!